My hair history (hairstory) is that I have had basically the same style for about ten years. I had a terrible short cut in high school that scarred me and then braids I left in way too long in college that took days of removal and a bit of my soul along with them.
Since then I have basically been growing it out and wearing it curly on occasion but mostly in a top knot or low ponytail. I have played around with color and did bangs once (hated them). The truth is that I am not adventurous with my hair and even now that its short I am still wearing it back.
Why? My hair story has weight–the weight of identity and conformity. When my hair is done I get attention and it makes me uncomfortable. Its so straight, its so curly, its so soft, can I touch your hair? When I spend time on my hair, it makes me feel indulgent. Attention and indulgence should not replace my self expression and confidence but sometimes they do.
As a woman who has had people touching my hair on a regular basis from a young age I think putting it back makes things easier. I don’t have to explain my hair, my race, or say I don’t speak this or that language. Being a biracial woman comes with a question of “How and what?” Is it my duty to answer that for other people, instead of myself?
I recently got braids and the weight of how I was perceived became too heavy. I removed the braids and cut off 8 inches.
My hairstory is ongoing but feeling much lighter and fun these days.